When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change?

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

And remember -

The other line always moves faster!